James Lessons

Dealing with Suicide 

How to Make Evangelism Easy 

Article by Tim Scmoyer at the Dare to Share Relational and Relentless Blog. 

Herding Versus Leading 

Collaboration 

Think On These Things

How Teens Communicate

Not Everything is Discipleship 

The Power of Story 

Born Saved

Signs of Rejection

Connecting with your Students this Christmas Season

Take them to the Streets

“And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.’ And immediately, they left their nets and followed him.” Mark 1:17-18 (ESV) 

I’m captivated by this and I wrestle with it everyday. Jesus did something here that frankly, we just don’t do very well.  I don’t know if it’s because we don’t trust Him, we don’t trust the Holy Spirit…I don’t know. But everyday, I wrestle with what Jesus did here with His first followers. 

One thing…He didn’t go after the religious elite. In fact, He went in the exact opposite direction. He found uneducated, ordinary guys. Fishermen. When He called them to follow Him, they had no idea who He was, where they were going, what they would do, or why it was important. 

But, immediately, they dropped their nets, left everything that was comfortable and known, and followed Him. 

And they didn’t even ask the most obvious question beyond those I just mentioned above. “Uhh, Jesus, what the heck does it mean to fish for men? Fish for fish, we got that. But fish for men…we’re a bit confused.” For some reason, it didn’t even matter. They just followed. 

Now, here comes the wrestling match for me. What did Jesus do with these uneducated, ordinary guys that left everything they knew to follow Him? 

Did Jesus lead them to a classroom and take them through the 10 points of being a disciple? Did he distribute notebooks with fill in the blank outlines and say, “Pay attention and take notes, boys…?” 

No. He didn’t take his new, impressionable, uneducated, ordinary followers to the classroom. He took them to the streets. 

The next part of Mark 1 finds these new followers listening and watching Jesus as he taught about the Kingdom of God to the crowd gathered in the synagogue in Capernaum. They watched as He cast out a demon and followed as He left the synagogue to heal Simon’s mother in-law. That night, they saw the huge crowd gather and watched as Jesus healed many who were sick. The next morning, they woke up only to find their new leader was already awake and was off by Himself praying. They found Him and followed Him on to the next towns for more preaching, more healing, and more praying. 

No classroom. No fill in the blanks. No Survivor Kits. 

Jesus skipped the classroom and went to the streets. His new followers learned what it meant to follow Jesus and fish for men by going with Him, watching Him, learning from Him, and then engaging in the work themselves. 

What does this say to us who lead churches and attempt to lead people to love, worship, and follow Jesus with their whole lives? What does this say to people who have surrendered their lives to Jesus and now think they have to learn something before they can do anything for Jesus? 

That’s where I wrestle. I’ll share some more throughout the week. Would love to hear your thoughts, if you have any on the matter.   

Sticky Faith

This past week I had the privilege of interacting with Kara Powell, the author of the newly released book, Sticky Faith. The book brought to light many issues that are formative to the ongoing spiritual development of teenagers, into their college and adult lives. Sticky Faith was written on the back end of years of research following students as they transitioned from high school to college.

While many things dropped my jaw, this one might be of interest to you as well. One question asked of college freshman, regarding their high school youth group days was, “What do you wish you had more of from your youth group?” The top five answers were: 

•  Time for deep conversation 
•  Mission trips 
•  Service projects 
•  Accountability 
•  One-on-one time with leaders 

Did you notice anything? Some of you might think we are joking when we say you are these students’ youth pastor. As I look at this list I see Pledge leader written on 3 if not 4 of the top 5. For the sake of (your) time and (my) space, let me jump right to the question of “So What Now?” Here are a few thoughts to get your brains spinning:

•  Implement a 1:1:1 strategy of connecting with each of your students. Pray daily. Contact weekly (any method). Meet monthly, outside VCSM programming (ex: attending sporting event, grab coffee, etc).
•  Share the ups and downs of your spiritual life. Share stories of God at work in your life/family. 
• •Connect with a student based on a mutual interest, such as gardening, cooking, or auto repair. Consider asking one of your students to join you in an activity, or chore, that you plan to do anyways. 
• •Raise the bar. Sometimes we think teenagers don’t want to talk about real issues, or spend extended time in Scripture. What you give them is what they’ll usually take. If that’s a bunch of free time to screw around – they won’t complain. But if it’s depth of conversation and biblical dialogue – look out because they might go toe to toe (in a good way of course). 

Oh, and can you guess what was last on the list of what graduates wished they had more of?

Games. 

So much for Buck Buck :(

 -Equipping the Saints for the work of the ministry, 

Jon Kalvig.

A Time to Live and Not Die

Please watch the video above.  It is the trailer from a film called Live 58, a POWERFUL film that we are showing in Underground this Sunday as the culmination of our Underground Church series.  We invite you to join us, and encourage your students to as well (and invite their parents!) The following article is from the Live 58 Blog.  

Her name is Gize. It means “time”. And in her case, time had long been running out. It got to the point two years ago that she and her husband and children had very little left in their meager hut in this arid land of Halaba, Ethiopia. Another year of bad rains piled on top of astronomical food prices led them to sell their ox—their most important productive asset, rent out their land to share croppers, and eat all the crop seed left in the house. 

As the next farming season approached, they were left without any means to plant a crop. They had fallen into the class of people known as the “the most vulnerable”, the “poorest of the poor”. In the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes, it says that there is a time for everything under heaven—including death. Maybe this was Gize’s time to die.Around that same time, my organization, Food for the Hungry (FH), which is member of Live 58:, began to respond to the drought and food price crisis that was hammering Ethiopia. The southern part of the country was especially hard hit, and due to reasons of having worked here in the past, FH chose to come to Halaba. We began to assist Gize and tens of thousands like her by employing them to establish plant and tree nurseries for a modest wage.

 I had the privilege of visiting with Gize earlier this year and I asked her what this project has meant to her and her family. “When we sold our ox and rented out our land to share croppers, we had no means to farm. But FH provided us with an ox and with seeds and tools for planting, which allowed us to work our land again”. She went on to proudly tell us about a rapid and virtuous cycle of events that took place in her life. That same year, she harvested 800 kilograms of haricot beans and sold 500 kilograms in the market. She used the money from the sale to buy a milk cow, which gave birth to two calves. She sold the calves and opened a savings account in the local bank and is now accumulating savings with interest. She was even able to send one of her children to school, which is the first time that has happened in her household.

Seeing the pride and joy in Gize’s face, I was reminded of this amazing privilege that we have in Live 58: to partner with others in making transformational change like this possible. The prophet Isaiah reminds us that the Lord is seeking a new kind of fast that feeds the hungry and meets the needs of the poor. But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t continue to do the old kind of fasting too. At the time of my trip to Ethiopia, I joined thousands of others around the world in a “HungerFast”, initiated by former US Congressman Tony Hall to implore the US Congress to refrain from making disproportionate cuts to life-saving foreign aid programs. My fast in Ethiopia was somewhat limited—just one or two meals skipped each day. 

 But even that limited fast helped to remind me in a small way of the hunger pangs felt by over a billion people around the world every single day. People like Gize who only need a little help—a small “hand-up”—to get to a place where the specter of extreme hunger is gone forever. Will you join with me in fasting, praying, advocating and acting for those who are hungry and poor? Would that—in the words of the writer of Ecclesiastes—this might become for hundreds of millions a “time to plant, a time to build, a time to live”..

We Could Be...

Check out this great blog post by my sister! She reminds us that with an audience of one, our lives should reflect GREAT love and GREAT joy.-Christina 

 What beautiful way to usher in a Monday (fyi – John Mark McMillan comes out with a new album tomorrow).Especially after such a blessed weekend, I love this.Like fools in love, we’re bound to make scene. Isn’t that the truth. 

 Do your days feel like this? Like you can’t HELP but make a scene? If we are reveling in the love of Christ – wasting everything else and not counting a single loss, then our lives will speak (maybe even shout) like crazy that there is something greater! 

 We might be the people that get pointed at or the people that get ignored, but the bottom line is that the scene bound to happen is for an audience of One. The Lord welcomes His sons and daughters into worship, where our hearts bleed for the Creator of the Universe. I’m so thankful that God also knows, as we endeavor to worship with our very lives, that there are bound to be scenes. Our love can look near foolish, but if anyone deserves a scene it is certainly our Lord and Savior!How could you be reveling today in His love?

 Caroline Nichols blogs here!

The Pride of Busyness

This is a great article for us at this busy time of year not only for our own lives- but what we're modeling to our students! -Christina 

Why our culture finds worth in a fast pace—and how believers can fight it. 

“How have you been recently?” 

“Oh, I'm not too bad. I’m taking a few classes, working two jobs, volunteering at church and on the side I’m writing a novel. I hardly sleep and practically live on coffee, but it’s great. What have you been up to?”

 “Me? Just work I guess.” 

“That must be nice." [thinks: slacker]

Have you ever had that conversation? I have many times, and over the years I have found myself playing both roles.

We take this sort of talk for granted, but if we step back and get a bit of perspective, it is a fascinating social construct with massive—and frightening—implications.

Those short conversations give us a glimpse of the way people view the world, because it is often the little day to day practices that reveal our deepest values.

You can see it play out every Monday at the office, and every Sunday in church lobbies around the world. People who have not seen each other in a few days or weeks start to catch up, and the talk quickly turns toward comparing notes on how terribly busy we all are. Volunteer positions, family commitments and work loads are listed, as each of us demonstrates just how much we are trying to juggle.

 The sad thing is, we are quite proud of it. 

 And not very secretly proud either.

Oh sure, we complain about how we have not had a real day off in weeks, or how much work it all is. But somehow all our complaining sounds rather like bragging. It’s just backhanded bragging, like complaining that you didn’t expect learning Spanish to be so much work after you had such high scores in French, German and fifth-century Latin.

You can hear it in the voices of those recounting their busy schedules, and the guilt with which many of us have learned to speak of having free time. We’ve bought into the gospel of busyness. We’ve accepted the narrative we are constantly sold by our society—that our value rests in what we can produce, that we are loved for what we can accomplish. Full calendars become a badge of honor.

Lee, a pastor I knew quite well, was a perfect example. The only pastor at a small rural church, he worked constantly. In his mind, the success or failure of the church was on his shoulders, completely dependent on his level of activity. Between studying, hospital visits, preaching and leading worship on Sunday, teaching a few additional times each week and being constantly on call for everyone in his church, he hardly had a free moment all week. And you could tell. He was chronically tired and often dealt with long periods of discouragement. But he loved his church, he wanted to do right by them and the only way he could see to be a "successful" pastor was to work even harder despite his declining physical and emotional health. Because to Lee, like so many of us, work had become the way he measured his value.

So we push ourselves harder and harder. 

We sleep less, we work more and we do indeed accomplish a great deal.

But in the process we begin to forget how to sit, 

and think, 

and breathe, 

and pray, 

and read for pleasure, 

and have a real conversation with a friend, or family member or spouse 

and savor a drink for its flavors and complexities, not its ability to chemically induce either wakefulness or sleep.

Here’s the dirty little secret of the gospel of busyness: It promises us a full and satisfying life, but, in the end, it makes our lives emptier. It uses us for what we can contribute, and in the process we live less, feel less, even love less.

Instead of a life filled with the satisfaction of endless accomplishments, we've gotten ourselves a generation of chronic exhaustion, absent workaholic parents and kids who have been not-so-subtly taught that the only way to earn the attention and love of others is with grades, paychecks or championships. 

But your value is not determined by what you produce. Your loveliness is not based on what you accomplish or how full your calendar is.

Work is good—it’s part of the way God designed His image-bearers—but it is not the only thing we were made for. He created us to have a balance in life, going so far as to incorporate a cycle of work and rest into the very fabric of the created order. There is a time for work in that cycle, but there is also a time for rest and community and quiet contemplation.

A life of constant overcommitment is not a sign of success, or something to be bragged about. It is a sign of imbalance, a sign we have put our faith in the gospel of busyness instead of in a God who dares us to trust Him and be willing to rest.

There is hope for the overcommitted, though; we don't have to live this way. We can balance good hard work with rest and play; in fact we were created to live in that balance. And the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can all stop playing the game of bragging that we are so very busy.

So the next time you catch up with a friend, refrain from contributing to the cycle. Refuse to brag about busyness as if it were a virtue, refuse to act like making time to rest is a mark of shame. If the very God who designed us thought that balancing work with rest was worthwhile, perhaps we should give it a try.

 Mason Slater is a seminary student at GRTS, a publishing consultant and a freelance writer in Grand Rapids, MI. You can find his blog at masonslater.com. This article was expanded from one that originally appeared ondeeperstory.com.

3 Reasons You Should Visit Your Local High Schools

Read this article from a youth pastor about the importance of visiting students at school. I’d encourage you to consider visiting some of your students for lunch at school once this year! -Christina 

The start of the new school year has meant that the process of reintroducing myself to our local high school’s Administrators has begun as I re-explain my motives and purpose for visiting the high schools. It is a lot of work, but the fruit that comes of it is immeasurable. Here are 3 reasons why we do it. 

• Encouragement & Support: Showing up at a high school, walking down the hallway and remembering a students name is a powerful thing to them. You are telling them that they matter. They might be having a bad day, but you arriving on their turf, just to visit, can provide a huge boost. Pulling them aside and praying for them or just being interested in what is happening says a lot to a student that feels invisible in a school of 2000+ people (this is assuming that every youth goes to a school of 2000+). Talk about being like Christ, showing up where people are at, in their school. It’s really enjoyable to see students in “their natural environment”
• Connection: Showing up in the school gives me face time with students I would likely never have the opportunity to spend time with, and for a student that has not shown up at our program for a few weeks, it might be an opportunity to reconnect, check in, and find out what is going on. Perhaps there is something they need prayer about. Just this week, I went to a local school to meet up with a student that was struggling to transition into High School I met up with her and happened to bump into another student (God moment) who just moved here and was in the same boat. We hung out, ate lunch, they swapped numbers, and the rest, well, we’ll see…..
•  Conversation Catalyst: We do not hand anything out while visiting school, nor do we invite anyone to our youth group because that is not my role. My absolute favorite bi-product of visiting the high schools is that I will often meet groups of two or three of our students and inevitably one or two of their friends who are not connected to the Church. We shoot the breeze, talk about their weeks, how school is going etc., give them a high five, and that’s it. But what happens after is incredible, because afterwards I often here, these words.  

 “Who was that?” 

Be Radical: City Center Outreach

On Sunday we set our mission to the south side as VCSM visited for the second time this fall. A group of twenty-five, including students and adults, sensed the call to help with our Community BBQ. For an hour we set up a grill and games and welcomed neighbors to a free hot dog meal. In that short time we say 47 southsiders stop by and pick up a meal. Many stuck around for conversation and gave us contact information for future follow-up. It was an absolutely beautiful afternoon and God answered our prayer “to bring us as many people as could effectively love on”. Praise Him for giving us a positive experience.

My challenge to everyone reading this: what is stopping you from being the love of Jesus to South Des Moines? Have you even asked God if He is calling you and your family to make Him known to the south side? Let’s Be Radical!  

If you are interested in joining us in future missional outings to the City Center, please let Jon Kalvig know asap.

Taking Humor More Seriously

We’ve gotta start taking humor more seriously!

Psalm 126:2 and Job 8:21 directly link laughter as a result of God’s blessing. Even so, humor sometimes gets a bad rap in church and ministry circles because we’ve seen it used so many times in ways that don’t glorify God. When utilized within God’s boundaries though (see Ephesians 5:4 to read how much God doesn’t laugh at bathroom humor), laughter is simply too great of a gift and too powerful a communication weapon to not harness for God’s glory.

So laugh a little, and invite others to crack up with you! It’ll bring a bright spot into their day, and it might even give them a glimpse into the joy that comes from following such a great Savior.

 This guest post was written by Doug Hutchcraft, co-founder of “The Doug and Jon Show.” If you want to know more about their ministry check out their website right here: http://www.thedougandjonshow.com/

3 Things Parents Need to Know From Leaders 

1. You are safe. 
Parents need to know that you will be responsible for the emotional, physical, and spiritual well being of their son or daughter. Here are three things you can do to help parents trust you as a safe person in the life of their child. First, keep your word. Do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. Second, be knowable. Connect with parents on Facebook or Twitter so they can observe who you are and the way you live. Spend time in their home before and after Pledge meetings sharing your personal life with them. Finally, make mature decisions. When the kids want to ride on the roof or your car, sneak out at 3:00am, or go watch a questionable movie, ask yourself, “What would our most conservative parent do in this situation?”

2. You are available. 
Parents need to know that you are available as a resource and partner as they seek to shepherd their son or daughter. Make sure they have your contact information and know that you’re eager to connect with and serve their family. Answer calls and return calls promptly. Warning! You will find all different types of family dynamics and you want to be aware of potential pitfalls. The big ones are A) losing trust from the kids because they feel like you’re talking about them behind their backs and B) being manipulated and thrown off mission by parents with a separate agenda.

3. You are not wasting their time.
Parents need to know that VCSM activities are leaving a lasting impression in the life of their child. Pledge Small Group will slip on the priority scale if all they ever hear about is goofing off and reports like, “Small group was so fun. Our leader is incredibly funny.” Parents need to observe that you are prepared for, intentional with, and in charge of your Small Group meetings. Kids should walk away from each meeting with something deeper than a fun time. Consider sharing the content of your Bible studies with parents whenever you send out reminder emails (included in the LIVE material!) for meetings.

6 SPRING REMINDERS* 

Are you discouraged with lacking attendance in your small group? You're not alone!  Spring can be a difficult time for small groups!  Check out these 6 reminders (especially reminder 2!) to see some things you can do to encourage health in the life of your Pledge group in this season. And remember, we appreciate you and all you are doing to invest in the lives of our students!

1. Activities vs. Attention

Activities are great. Attention is better. Students crave attention more than just gathering together or having a good time. What are ways you've given attention to your students? Find ways to interact with as many students on a one on one basis as possible. Little things like text messages or coming over 10 minutes early before small group can go a long ways. 

2. Numbers vs. Health

Sometimes during the spring season, small groups experience a drop in attendance. Don't get discouraged if there are a few less kids at small group each week. Keep calling and encouraging everyone to join you, and then focus on taking advantage of the smaller group and go deeper in building relationships, accountability, and studying God's word with those faithful few.

 3. Adult Chaperone vs. Godly Leader

Sometimes you'll catch yourself being a passive observer of your group. Students need leaders, not sponsors. How are you leading your students? What parts of your life are you sharing with them? What areas of growth are you experiencing that can serve as an example for them? What are you learning in God's word? Who are you reaching out to? What kind of example are you setting and sharing with them? 

 4. Relevance vs. Relationships

You are not and never will be as cool as a Junior High or High School student. Sometimes our insecurity drives us to try to "fit in" with our kids. We don't have to watch all the coolest movies or listen to the hippest emo music or be a fashion trendsetter in order to have an influence on kids. Reality means more to kids than relevance and real relationships create the best context for authentic ministry. 

 5. Tunnel Vision vs. Perspective

It's easy to get locked in on a task and get stuck in the rut of the same small group Bible Study meeting week after week. Remember the big picture of building long term relationships in the context of a ministry involving hundreds of people. Get creative in your ministry. Try something new. Branch out and involve other leaders, other kids, and new activities. Get involved in other aspects of the ministry in addition to leading your group. Is it your time to get on stage? Do you know people who could be great leaders that you need to invest some energy in recruiting?

6. Talking about God vs. Talking with God

Leaders will sometimes find themselves pouring out more than they are filling up. Make sure that you are spending a greater percentage of your time and energy talking WITH God than you are talking ABOUT God. What you need for them, you must get from Him!  

*Thank you, Watermark Student Ministries, for this great blog post! 

OPEN SEAT. 

This school year we have seen 38 first- time visitors added to the VCSM Pledge rosters. Not bad! The best part of that is we are seeing students stick.  We see that in that 30 of the 38 students that have visited Pledge have returned at least twice. There is a proven record in the last few years of Pledge being the most unchurched-friendly program we have in VCSM. Surprising? Not anymore. The environment (home) is safe and has a friendly dynamic. The crowd is by no means intimidating since the group is smaller and consists largely of their friends, or students they know from school. And the interaction component is attractive to these postmodern students.It is 'on us' to encourage our students to invite. If we believe we have the system to reach lost students then let’s both be active in opening up our circle, and in bringing the Good News into our studies. So how do we progress in each of these as small group (aka lay youth pastor) leaders? 

• Let students know – this is a safe, healthy and wise place for them to invite their friends.
• Ask your students who they are praying for, that don’t know Christ. Then spend a few weeks praying for those students. This next part is more tricky – but follow up with each student as to how they are doing in bridging the relationship towards an invitation to Pledge. The trick here is that this process highly involves the Holy Spirit’s leading. Therefore not every student will think “this” Wednesday is the right time to invite. However, don’t let that stop you from telling your group – why doesn't everyone try to invite a friend next week. Just be sure that you factor that in next week’s plan.
• While this is completely above and beyond your role as a Pledge leader – when you visit student’s activities, don’t ignore their friends who are standing with them. Engage them too in conversation. Let them know who you are and that they are welcome to come check it out. Your students can run with it from there. Btw – this is a great for students to model what I previously talked about in the leadership development of “I do. You watch.” 

The importance rests on the ‘open chair’ policy. Do your students believe that there’s room for another? Do your students care more about the ‘perfect setting we currently have’ over reaching their non-believing friends? As leaders we are responsible to drill home the commission to make disciples – or as we state it in VCSM “Build Disciples Who Make Disciples”.  

Jon